The Chinese New Year “Interview” – Shut Your Kaypoh Aunties Up
With Chinese New Year comes the yearly tradition of celebrating the festival in the spirit of togetherness. That also means that it is the time of the year where reunions are done in masses and you’ll get to see the uncommon faces once again. One of the more dreadful scenarios of these reunions are the impromptu ‘interview sessions’ conducted by the nosy aunties that you could barely remember their names are.
Don’t want that to haunt you? You can try the following to just shut them up a little:
1. Rent a boyfriend / girlfriend – This is only practical if you’re not married though. A few hours of acting should be enough to deny them for another year.
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While it is something that actually happens in China, I’m not sure if the classifieds in Malaysia are just for internet points or they do actually mean it.
2. Avoid attending – I’d only advise if you don’t know anyone at the event at all. At times it may not be worth to avoid a reunion completely just because you don’t want to be questioned by a few.
Risk rating: ●○○○○
3. Keep your distance – Keep watch on the possible gossips and swerve away if they’re coming your way. Chances are you might avoid one just to bump into another and there’s always a high probability You’d look like a paranoid walking on hot rocks throughout the whole time though.
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4. Verbal war – Throw shade at them back when you sense hostility and walk away. You could either leave them in shock or trigger a possible argument.
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5. Verbal nuclear war – Probably not advisable and I’m putting this for the luls. Ask them back “When is your turn?”. Depending on their state of life, this could easily shut them up to oblivion and you’ve won. Depending on how you execute and handle the situation, it might’ve been a risk to shut down the party atmosphere.
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If you are considering on trying the methods above, do let me know how it turn up. Disclaimer: I am not liable of the outcome so do not completely take this seriously okay?
Fancy a little bit of dessert? Kang Won Herbal Tea’s Puchong branch is having a New Year’s promotion on their signature Ba Zhen & Gu Yuan Paste. Check them out on their Facebook page to know more on the promotion which lasts until 14th February!
OR if you’re going to be thirsty from all that war of words, you can also head on down to the Bulb Coffee for unlimited coffee and tea! This offer extends till the end of February. You can read more on this as well on their Facebook page.